My sweet Staci girl

My sweet Staci girl, 

I'm not sure how to tell you goodbye. For the last 8 precious years, I have felt your pure, unwavering, unconditional love every single day. You made your way into my life by chance and my heart before I even knew how much I'd need you. God knew what I was meant to endure in these last several years. He knew I wouldn't have made it without you by my side. You heard my cries as you got into the shower with me when Bill was killed. You laid on my feet to comfort me while I wrote his obituary. That's when I fully understood the magnitude and depths of your love. Since the divorce, it was always comforting to come home to you on the nights Addy was at her dads. Now, for the first time ever, I have to come home to an empty house when she's gone. You never left me, ever! I know that you were ready to go. I watched the spark leave your eyes over the last few months. I've watched helplessly as you've lost interest in the things you loved the most. I've felt sad when I'd see all the new grey hairs on your face. But you reminded me that each one of them is a reminder of every adventure, every warm afternoon spent together, every trail walk we've walked and I wouldn't change any of it. I will forever miss your sweet powdered sugar face. 

I could see how hard it was for you to get up each morning. Regardless, you would still light up, moo like a cow, and wag your tail when I'd come home. You were always happy to see me. You were mine, and I was yours. We've both been let down by people, and we found comfort, acceptance, and healing in each other. I pray more than anything that I gave you the best possible life Staci. It took you a long time to gain my trust, but eventually, you did. After being in the shelter for years, I allowed you to live your best life. Your own kiddy pool to splash around in every summer, the cool grass to lay in all afternoon, the softest blankets to burrow your cold nose in, tennis balls to destroy, car rides and all the pup cups and tator tots you could eat. This world will never be the same without you here. I will never be the same without you here. I am going to be so lost without you.

Lessons I've learned from loving you. 

 1.  Life. Is. Short. Eat the ice cream. 

 2. You can never say I love you too many times. 

 3. Be kind. You never know what the hell someone is going through.  

 4. Make time for those that matter. Lay on the floor and talk to your dog every day.  

 5. The little moments will matter the most. Cherish them, and always take time to stop and sniff the wind. 

 6. Grieving a pet is just as difficult as grieving a human.  

I know that Bill has you. I know how much you loved him. So stay, stay with him until I get there. You have earned your halo. Rest easy, my sweet girl. 💔